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Sharing My Headache Story with NHF – Kimberlee

I have suffered migraine headaches with severe neck pain for 36 years. I started getting headaches at age 12, and I’ve been diagnosed with migraine, cluster, tension and rebound headaches. I have tried diet, biofeedback, meditation, massage, chiropractic care, Reiki, and even Botox, which did help the headaches in the back of my neck, but insurance does not pay for the injections, and they are very expensive.

I have also tried every medication there is for the last 36 years. I am now on Fiorocet, Maxalt, Imitrex, Ultram and Vicodin. Imitrex works the best for the migraine, but you can only take so many each month, and the Fioricet helps the tension headaches, but now I’m taking them daily. When I do get rid of the headache it always seems to come right back before I go to sleep. I cannot sleep due to the pain; I have to take Ambien daily to get any sleep. I had to give up my career due to this excruciating nightmare pain.

I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I do not know what it is like to go a day without a headache. I feel like I will not know that until I go to Heaven. My migraines have ruined three marriages. My present husband is tired of me feeling bad all the time; we do not do anything together because I cannot plan anything, and if I do, I (typically) have to cancel due to these migraines. I stay home hiding in my house praying that the headaches will go away. My present husband told me he did not sign up for this even though I told him I had migraines before he married me. We only stay together because we can’t afford to live apart.

I have one son who has not known me without a headache, and I wish I could have spent more time with him while he was growing up. He is now 21 and I feel like a bad mother because I was in pain all the time while he was growing up. I wish I could have spent more time with him. I didn’t have any other kids due to daily use of medications and pain. I was told maybe they would go away when I reach menopause. I sure hope so as I would love to spend time with my grandchildren when that time comes. There are many days when I just don’t want to wake up, but then I keep going because I think of my son. I’ve been a member of the NHF for over 15 years and keep looking forward to new information. I am tired of waking up every day in pain and being crabby (that’s the nice way of saying it) and mad at the world due to this pain. I’ve had MRIs, CT scans, and EEGs and all of the results were normal. The EEG did show a little slow activity, but I was told it was nothing to be worried about. I take so much medication just to get through the day that I really worry about needing a new liver soon.

I am now 48 and would really like to have a normal life. I want to get better and be able to work so I can move on with my life.

No one understands this pain, unless they have been through it. Friends don’t understand why I don’t see them. It’s really hard being alone with all this pain. I hope there is a cure soon for all of us with this horrifyingly crippling disease. I appreciate any help in this matter.

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